Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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