What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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