So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
