Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
