you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
