so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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