I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
