She said her name was "party"
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
