it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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