My liver just broke up with me...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
