I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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