sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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