My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
