i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
