Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you never un-have a 4some
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
