I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We had sex on a dog bed..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
