haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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