nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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