I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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