id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
