I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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