when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
