can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
