dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
