u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
