Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
