Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
