I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
