for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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