marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
