i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
