guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
