me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
