That's intense
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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