dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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