Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
