Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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