YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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