there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the day after is always just damage control
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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