Whod you bang
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
