Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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