i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
