I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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