It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she told me i tasted like america
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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