i think i have two assholes
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
