Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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