I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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