I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
