I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
