I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
